The day my little Leo was born was truly, the best day of my life.
Now I know, I'm supposed to say that about the day I married Jeffrey, but the day I married him was not the important part as much as the marriage we had/have ahead of us (which is still awesome by the way!) The day I had Leo was truly the best day on so many levels. Often times when I've heard people talk about the birth of their child, I think they are typically referring to the actual baby-comes-out and meeting them part. What I am referring to is the whole shbang. From the very first contraction to finally holding him in my arms. It was hard, yes, but I don't think that holding him in my arms would have been nearly as amazing without everything leading up to it. From start to finish, delivery and labor were absolutely amazing!
Now, I had been preparing for years for the birth of my child - researching, reading, and envisioning what would happen. Birth has always been wondrously fascinating to me! The 6 months leading up to conception, I got in fantastic shape, rested my body, and did a lot of mental and emotional work. My whole pregnancy was filled with every prenatal exercise I could find, lots of reading on birth and babies, and as much self care and rest as possible!
Labor began when I woke up at 4:30AM Friday morning (February 10th) to the first contraction. I was fairly certain it was a contraction as I had never actually had a (real) contraction before. Months of painless Braxton Hicks contractions were much different. I tried to remain calm and go back to sleep but was filled with excitement and anticipation as I began thinking about everything that was ahead. I was FINALLY about to experience everything I had been preparing myself for!
I laid in bed about 20 minutes trying to get some sleep as I knew I had to save my energy but the contractions were already to painful to actually rest. I woke Jeffrey up excitedly and then gave my doula Candace a call to let her know labor had started. I hopped in the shower since I wanted to feel as fresh as possible and didn't know when the next time would be that I would get one. At this point I didn't bother timing the contractions but soon realized they were closer together and consistent.
The pain of a contraction is hard to describe but I can still remember the sensation as I logged it away in my memory. It is the pressure of a giant rubber band tightening slowly around my abdomen and then slowly releasing. It is the pain of a deep and low ache that crescendos in intensity like a wave. The movies make it look like it's a stabbing, sudden, sharp pain but each contraction came on slowly and increased in intensity before gradually subsiding to painlessness. And truly, after each contraction, there was NO pain. Focusing on this helped get me through each wave - there was an end to each one. Don't get me wrong, it was INTENSE and unlike any pain I had ever experienced before. I WORKED for that baby boy! Strangely enough, the pain of a contraction that I had anticipated was very much how I experienced it. All of my reading, research, and visualizing was SO instrumental during my labor and gave me the calm, peaceful birth I had desired.
One unexpected thing about my contractions were that I had back labor the entire time; I couldn't even feel the contractions in the front because of the pain in my back. I had not anticipated this, so it was actually really frustrating. Every contraction was spent on my hands and knees or leaning/hip circles on my exercise ball; it was the only position that was comfortable.
Now I know, I'm supposed to say that about the day I married Jeffrey, but the day I married him was not the important part as much as the marriage we had/have ahead of us (which is still awesome by the way!) The day I had Leo was truly the best day on so many levels. Often times when I've heard people talk about the birth of their child, I think they are typically referring to the actual baby-comes-out and meeting them part. What I am referring to is the whole shbang. From the very first contraction to finally holding him in my arms. It was hard, yes, but I don't think that holding him in my arms would have been nearly as amazing without everything leading up to it. From start to finish, delivery and labor were absolutely amazing!
Now, I had been preparing for years for the birth of my child - researching, reading, and envisioning what would happen. Birth has always been wondrously fascinating to me! The 6 months leading up to conception, I got in fantastic shape, rested my body, and did a lot of mental and emotional work. My whole pregnancy was filled with every prenatal exercise I could find, lots of reading on birth and babies, and as much self care and rest as possible!
Labor began when I woke up at 4:30AM Friday morning (February 10th) to the first contraction. I was fairly certain it was a contraction as I had never actually had a (real) contraction before. Months of painless Braxton Hicks contractions were much different. I tried to remain calm and go back to sleep but was filled with excitement and anticipation as I began thinking about everything that was ahead. I was FINALLY about to experience everything I had been preparing myself for!
I laid in bed about 20 minutes trying to get some sleep as I knew I had to save my energy but the contractions were already to painful to actually rest. I woke Jeffrey up excitedly and then gave my doula Candace a call to let her know labor had started. I hopped in the shower since I wanted to feel as fresh as possible and didn't know when the next time would be that I would get one. At this point I didn't bother timing the contractions but soon realized they were closer together and consistent.
The pain of a contraction is hard to describe but I can still remember the sensation as I logged it away in my memory. It is the pressure of a giant rubber band tightening slowly around my abdomen and then slowly releasing. It is the pain of a deep and low ache that crescendos in intensity like a wave. The movies make it look like it's a stabbing, sudden, sharp pain but each contraction came on slowly and increased in intensity before gradually subsiding to painlessness. And truly, after each contraction, there was NO pain. Focusing on this helped get me through each wave - there was an end to each one. Don't get me wrong, it was INTENSE and unlike any pain I had ever experienced before. I WORKED for that baby boy! Strangely enough, the pain of a contraction that I had anticipated was very much how I experienced it. All of my reading, research, and visualizing was SO instrumental during my labor and gave me the calm, peaceful birth I had desired.
One unexpected thing about my contractions were that I had back labor the entire time; I couldn't even feel the contractions in the front because of the pain in my back. I had not anticipated this, so it was actually really frustrating. Every contraction was spent on my hands and knees or leaning/hip circles on my exercise ball; it was the only position that was comfortable.
At 8:30AM, my contractions were regularly 3-4 minutes apart and I thought it might be time to go in to the hospital. I called Candace at 9:20AM and asked her what she thought. She talked with me through a contraction and didn't think I sounded like I was quite where I needed to be. She suggested that we wait for the contractions to intensify and I'm SO glad we took her advice. Contractions continued and didn't seem to change in duration or intensity for the next several hours.
At 12:15, I started to think that the baby may be in the posterior position (face towards the abdomen) which was why labor wasn't progressing. We tried a few contractions standing, with Jeffrey lifting my belly to help baby move into a better position. I called Candace frustrated and she suggested I try an inversion. While it took the pressure off my back temporarily, it didn't change the location of the contraction. I could tell my energy was dropping and decided to try and rest for a bit. I curled up on the couch at 12:40PM and was in and out of sleep for an hour. This was definitely beneficial, both physically and mentally. It gave me time to calm down from the excitement and to give my body a bit of a break.
Laying down slowed the contractions which gave me the rest I needed, but I knew it was important to get up and move for things to progress so I called Candace to come over and help. She came over at 2:00PM and did an open-knee-chest position for about 30 minutes with me. This is essentially open-knee childs pose, if you are familiar with the yoga pose, but with your butt up in the air and leaning on your forarms. Candace left at 3:30PM and said to call if anything changed. Almost as soon as she left, the contractions seemed to double in intensity and became 3.5 minutes apart. At this point I knew things were really starting to move and I was ready to go the hospital. Jeffrey texted Candace telling her we were packing up and heading out.
From that point on, I really didn't have my eyes open much. I truly went inward and was focusing all of my mental and physical energy on riding through each contraction. Jeffrey took care of loading things up and helped me to the car, pausing for a contraction before actually getting in.
We left for the hospital at 4:30PM and arrived there by 5:00PM. Contractions in the car were HARD since I was sitting down and could not move around the way I had previously. Why on earth I decided to sit in the front seat bucked up, I have no idea. Safely first? I ended up just squirming around in my seat trying to get comfortable, doing whatever I could to get through each contraction. Any passerby on the freeway probably thought I was dying or something. It's comical to think about now but I certainly didn't care at the time.
Candace was waiting by the front doors when we arrived at the hospital. Her and Jeffrey helped me to the triage unit, pausing for contractions on the way. At that point, I didn't care who saw me and was completely shameless in my laboring. There was lots of low vocalizations and again, my eyes were closed so I didn't see anyone anyways. Upon arriving, the receptionist asked me to sign in and fill out some paper work. There was no way I was able to focus on anything other than the contractions at that point so they sent me to lay down while Jeffrey took care of all the check-in paper work. I threw up unexpectedly in a garbage can as soon as they took me back. Thankfully, that was the only time THAT happened the rest of my laboring!
Candace helped me into a gown and the nurse checked my vitals and dilation. I was already at 8 centimeters! I was SO thankful to have done most of my laboring at home. The nurse asked if my water had broken since they couldn't feel it and were surprised when I said it hadn't. They just figured it must be 'hidden'. When the nurse said they were going to put a saline hep-lock in (basically a port in your arm in case they need to hook you up to an IV in a hurry for some emergency reason) I told her I wanted to wait on that since I was hydrated and had been eating all day. I was truthfully hoping to avoid it all together and hoped that if I didn't get it then, I wouldn't have to get it at all. I had been having a fair amount of bleeding throughout my laboring at that point so my doctor came in and said she really wanted me to have one. I wasn't thrilled about it but trusted her judgement. I made sure I would still be able to move around uninhibited and would not be hooked up to anything. While the placement was less than ideal (try leaning on things with that taped to the outside of your arm) it really didn't bother me much and I was thankful that I was still able to labor the way I wanted.
We labored up to the delivery room (pausing for contractions along the way) and Candace immediately started getting the tub ready so I could get in as soon as possible. She set up candles around the tub, little lights around the room, and turned on my essential oil diffuser (alllll the lavender). All the overhead lights were off and everything felt absolutely dreamy.
Now, like I said, my eyes were closed most of the time, but the atmosphere could not have felt more comfortable or safe. I felt supported, relaxed, and calm. Jeffrey was with me every step of the way, breathing through each contraction with me, and helping maintain low and steady vocalizations. He was my rock and I could not have done it without him. His gentle demeanor, calm presence, and reassuring eyes were exactly what I needed during this experience. I could go on and on about how incredible he was, and I still get choked up thinking about how blessed I am to have him as my partner and husband!
I honestly lost track of time at this point but spent a while in the tub. It was not as comfortable as I had anticipated since I had to keep sitting up and leaning over the side of the tub for each contraction because of the back labor. Jeffrey sat with me at eye level the entire time while Candace helped give suggestions of ways he could assist me and supported him. The nurse checked baby's heart beat a few times but we were mostly left alone, which I had previously requested and was grateful for.
I reached a point where I told Jeffrey, "I don't know how much longer I can do this." I remember thinking at that point that because I felt like I couldn't handle anymore, I was probably almost ready to push. I had to stay calm. It was then that I KNEW I could do it.
I was suddenly done with being in the tub and wanted out. I went to the bathroom and immediately had the urge to start pushing. There was so much pressure! I had a few contractions on the floor leaning over a laboring ball and they helped me to the bed to check things out. I was at 10cm and was ready to do a few pushes.
Since I was bent on not pushing him out laying on my back, I got on my knees and leaned over the back of the bed. I kept feeling resistance though and realized my water still hadn't broken. Dr. King tried to break it but apparently, my water bag was very small and tough, which is why it hadn't broken at that point. It was pretty uncomfortable, but she eventually broke it!
I pushed for about 30 minutes before I was exhausted from holding myself up. I could feel that something just wasn't working anymore, so I turned over onto my side for a few pushes. The last few pushes I ended up rolling onto my back because it just felt better, and I was ok with that. In total I pushed for about 45 minutes, but it felt much shorter.
As he started crowning, the doctor asked if I wanted to feel the head. In that moment I was hurrrrting and just didn't want to move. I waited another push or two and then reached down to feel! I knew I was almost done and was so excited to actually feel my baby. He was right there! I gave one more push and popped out his shoulders and torso, where he stopped. Everyone was so excited and said, "keep going" as I think they were excited to find out the gender as well! I gave a little push and the rest of him slipped out (such a strange sensation)! The doctor said, "it's a boy" and immediately placed him onto my stomach. I reached down and pulled him up to my chest. The cord was a little short (I also had a pretty small placenta and cord), so I couldn't bring him up fully but locked eyes with him. He was beautiful and perfect and was our baby boy! I looked up at Jeffrey and said "we did it!" Looking back at our sweet babe I said, "he has hair! I thought was going to be bald!" I'm totally seriousš¤£
I felt SO many emotions in that moment. I was so relieved that it was over. I was beaming with pride that I had done it how I wanted. I felt like wonder women and that I could do anything after that. I felt more love than I had ever felt in my life (and I've felt A LOT of love). I felt like my heart would just explode with how much I loved this sweet baby boy. With him and Jeffrey there, everything felt complete. The natural birth, oxytocin high is SO real folks. I've never been high on anything before but I literally felt like I was on something, and it was GOOD! I've never felt anything like that in my life!
I reached a point where I told Jeffrey, "I don't know how much longer I can do this." I remember thinking at that point that because I felt like I couldn't handle anymore, I was probably almost ready to push. I had to stay calm. It was then that I KNEW I could do it.
I was suddenly done with being in the tub and wanted out. I went to the bathroom and immediately had the urge to start pushing. There was so much pressure! I had a few contractions on the floor leaning over a laboring ball and they helped me to the bed to check things out. I was at 10cm and was ready to do a few pushes.
Since I was bent on not pushing him out laying on my back, I got on my knees and leaned over the back of the bed. I kept feeling resistance though and realized my water still hadn't broken. Dr. King tried to break it but apparently, my water bag was very small and tough, which is why it hadn't broken at that point. It was pretty uncomfortable, but she eventually broke it!
I pushed for about 30 minutes before I was exhausted from holding myself up. I could feel that something just wasn't working anymore, so I turned over onto my side for a few pushes. The last few pushes I ended up rolling onto my back because it just felt better, and I was ok with that. In total I pushed for about 45 minutes, but it felt much shorter.
As he started crowning, the doctor asked if I wanted to feel the head. In that moment I was hurrrrting and just didn't want to move. I waited another push or two and then reached down to feel! I knew I was almost done and was so excited to actually feel my baby. He was right there! I gave one more push and popped out his shoulders and torso, where he stopped. Everyone was so excited and said, "keep going" as I think they were excited to find out the gender as well! I gave a little push and the rest of him slipped out (such a strange sensation)! The doctor said, "it's a boy" and immediately placed him onto my stomach. I reached down and pulled him up to my chest. The cord was a little short (I also had a pretty small placenta and cord), so I couldn't bring him up fully but locked eyes with him. He was beautiful and perfect and was our baby boy! I looked up at Jeffrey and said "we did it!" Looking back at our sweet babe I said, "he has hair! I thought was going to be bald!" I'm totally seriousš¤£
I felt SO many emotions in that moment. I was so relieved that it was over. I was beaming with pride that I had done it how I wanted. I felt like wonder women and that I could do anything after that. I felt more love than I had ever felt in my life (and I've felt A LOT of love). I felt like my heart would just explode with how much I loved this sweet baby boy. With him and Jeffrey there, everything felt complete. The natural birth, oxytocin high is SO real folks. I've never been high on anything before but I literally felt like I was on something, and it was GOOD! I've never felt anything like that in my life!
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